Flicks: Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity (1987)

In space, no one can believe that zero "G" jugs are in fact a jiggling and undeniable reality.

The second Urban Classics feature film of this month is Slave Girls From Beyond Infinity (1987) a kooky take on intergalactic slavery seen through the paradigm of a 1980's sci-fi Star Wars rip-off. Fans of Kentucky Fried Movie (1977) or Roger Corman's Galaxy Of Terror (1981) will see these two classic movies inextricably merged into one super-mutant of a bad movie that was awful enough to end the career of it's director Mr. Ken Dixon.

Brinke Stevens (Sorority Girls In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama) co-stars with Cindy Beal and Elizabeth Kaitan (Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2) in this gem of of Kidnapped Females Taken by Alien Overlords (to do their awful bidding) genre movie. The terrible looking "alien" costumes (think Predator on a shoe string budget and no Stan Winston) and wannabe old school Cylons (Battlestar Galactica) are enough to stop any fair-minded viewer in his or her tracks!

The twist is that these bleach-and-tanned southern Californian bimbos (complete with Aerosmith/ZZ Top/Crocodile Dundee references) aren't having any of this slave girl action. They quickly club their guards over the heads with flimsy props and in flimsy bikinis in order to make good their space escape.


1987 marks the year the line "Let's blow this popsicle stand" was used appropriately in a motion picture.

Things get even more referential when the two slave girls crash land on a nearby planet where they are hunted by friendly fellow named Zed (Don Scribner) a la The Most Dangerous Game (1932) which would be great - if this plot point had not been completely exhausted for four decades by the time it come into usage for this film.

You manlings may enjoy this film yet. The models, especially Kaitan, are in excellent physical shape. They make for enjoyable watching as they bounce, with all of help that 1980's contemporary plastic surgery can afford, hither and thither while being "chased" by a series of poor suckers in terrible costumes.

References:
IMDb, Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity (1987)
Wikipedia, Slave Girls from Beyond Infinity
Bad Movies.org, Save The Slave Girls!

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Flicks: Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)

If Revenge Of The Nerds made it with Leprechaun you would have this movie.

Brought to the film-going public by the short-lived Urban Classics distribution company^[1], who released 6 films in two years in 1987-1989, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988) is notable as one of only two films in which legendary 1980s scream queens Linnea Quigley (Return of the Living Dead, Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers), Brinke Stevens (Slumber Party Massacre), and Michelle Bauer (Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man, Night of the Living Babes, Lust for Frankenstein) appear together. The other being the much less watchable Dr. Alien (1989).

Sorority Babes stars Linea Quigley who unveiled a picture perfect Hollywood boob job on the set of Return Of The Living Dead as punk rock tramp "Trash" in 1985. This one singular performance guaranteed her a long future in slashers and horror films. She went on to star in Nightmare On Elm Street Part IV (1988), Pumpkinhead II (1994), Corpses Are Forever (2003) along with 121 other roles and counting. It's also important to note that both Stevens and Bauer both are very actively working on films and television today.

The film is like Revenge Of The Nerds with a raging hard-on. Aside from Miss Quigley's bodacious rack the film is full of R rated nudity and but no gore what so ever. Quigley, as "Spider" the tough as nails proprietor of said Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama, unwittingly hosts a massacre for a series of boneheads and bimbos when a cursed bowling trophy awakens a terrible evil entity.

The evil entity in this case being talking shaved Gremlin affectionately dubbed "Uncle Impie" voiced by the writer and composer Michael Sonye (Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Breakfast of Aliens). "Uncle Impie" goes about granting the motley crew's wishes and then watches them go disastrously wrong.

Sorority Babes' director David DeCoteau is another horror movie legend who still makes horror films today including My Stepbrother Is a Vampire! (2013) and A Talking Pony? (2013) both of which are listed as in post-production currently.

NOTES:
[1] = Urban Classics was a Charles Band, Full Moon Entertainment's founder, funded distribution house. Sorority Babes was released by Full Moon on DVD in 1999.

References:
IMDb, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama (1988)
IMDb, David DeCoteau
Wikipedia, Sorority Babes In The Slimeball Bowl-O-Rama

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Flicks: My Amityville Horror (2013)

Horror-doc about the infamous house in Amityville featuring a man who lived there during the incidents.

IFC/Sundance Now and director Eric Walter's My Amityville Horror (2013), while not making a large splash when it was originally announced in late December of 2012, crawled back out of it's grave on March 15th 2013 to arrive in selected theaters and Video-On-Demand (VOD) simultaneously.

This documentary, according to film producers Andrea Adams and John Blythe, is about the the actual Amityville house in Long Island, New York where poltergeists allegedly attacked the Lutz family in 1975. The documentary features Daniel Lutz who was 10 at the time of the infamous haunting.

Prior to Daniel and his family moving into the home, on November 13th 1974, the house at 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, New York became a place that locals feared when 23-year-old Ronald DeFeo murdered his entire family under very mysterious circumstances.

In September 1977, it became a place the entire world feared when Jay Anson’s book “The Amityville Horror” was published (later adapted into the popular series of films), bringing the house international notoriety and instant entry into the occult history books. Not so much because of the DeFeo murders, but because it told the tale of what happened to the next family who lived there, one year after the massacre. The Lutz family.


The actual house at 112 Ocean Avenue in Amityville, New York where the events allegedly occurred.

My Amityville Horror's producer John Blythe goes on to say: "This house haunting inspired the best-selling novel and the entire film franchise. Seeing that this was an untold story about an already world renowned case, sparked my interest. I offered for Eric (Walter) to join my company in order to raise enough financing to get the project off the ground."

References:
IMDb, My Amityville Horror (2012)
Facebook, Official Group
IMDb, Eric Walter

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Flicks: Chopping Mall (1986)

In the exciting, go-get-'em, futuristic world of 1986 America evil robots run amok!

My puny hu-mon translator has been very "stressed, Bro". He insists that his meager tasks are so much that he has not been able to keep up with transcribing my evil will onto the blog reading universe. Try exterminating the population of a large island nation, pathetic hu-mon! That is a difficult task, indeed.

Now, to the next frightful feature on the Sleaze Blender: Chopping Mall (1986) a classic nugget of consumer culture which takes place in the temple of capitalism - the North American shopping mall.

Roger Corman's daughter Julie Corman produces this American International picture, originally entitled Killbots. In it the World's Oldest Teenagers making time in a top of the line mall in idyllic Beverly Hills at the apex of the the 80's. Barbara Crampton (Re-Animator and From Beyond) and Kelli Maroney (Night Of The Comet) star beside Corman mascot Dick Miller (Gremlins, Premature Burial) who is playing "Walter Paisely" the same name of the character Miller played 30 years prior in 1959 in the lead role from Bucket Of Blood.

To sum up one hour and 20 minutes: this is a film with all too much shopping and not enough chopping.

For a Corman formula flick that usually relies on titillation in order to draw in an audience there are precious few tits. Whether this is a reflection of contemporary culture or censorship it's hard to say definitively. The "rampaging robots" which look suspiciously like over-sized remote controlled 4x4 trucks with the robot from Rocky II's head mounted on top of them - are armed with sleep darts and "lasers" for the purpose of preventing "teens" from indulging in sexual congress. Thankfully, the Killbots manage to exterminate nearly all of the sweaty hu-mon yuppoids before the titles roll.

A really awful film. Even for Corman. But it features actors from previous horror films in bit roles like Julian Burton, the poet from Bucket of Blood (1959), and Mary Woronov better known as Calamity Jane from Death Race 2000 (1975), Miss Evelyn Togar from The Ramones Rock 'N Roll High School (1979) and her role as a driver in Cannonball! (1976).

References:
IMDB, Chopping Mall (1986)
Wikipedia, Chopping Mall

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Flicks: Cinco De Mayo (2013)

El Chupacabra is alive and well in the Arizona desert.

Director Darren Lynn Bousman (Saw II, III and IV) erroneously finds himself included in a group of horror movie directors dubbed the "Splat Pack" film historian Alan Jones in Total Film magazine. The short list includes Rob Zombie, Robert Rodriguez, Eli Roth, Alexander Aja (Hills Have Eyes remake in 2006) and the writer and director of the original Saw, James Wan.

Yer ol pal The Sleaze-A-Saurus has dug quite deeply in attempting to unearth any current information on this movie due to the pathetic state of your hu-mon Internet which is proving most ... primitive - in this regard. The official site is shut down ahead of the projected released date - which is not exactly re-assuring. Slash Film suggests that Cinco De Mayo will possibly be released on May 5th 2013. IMDb, which is usually very useful when tracking films has two completely unrelated Cinco De Mayo films listed and one of them is also a horror movie that is slated to be released at the same date but with a completely different plot and crew.

It's very possible that this film is facing some obstacles, but, judging from the quality of the trailer, the gritty editing and well pace rock 'n roll scoring - it looks like it could be the film that really earns Bousman's name be mentioned in the same breath as the likes Rob Zombie and veteran indie horror film-maker Robert Rodriguez.

Holiday horror films have reached the end of their creative cycle (April Fool's Day, Silent Night Deadly Night, Black Christmas, Halloween). Cinco De Mayo director Bousman is also guilty of this tactic with Mother's Day starring Rebecca De Mornay released in 2010.

References:
IMDb, Darren Lynn Bousman
Wikipedia, Splat Pack
Slash Film, Darren Bousman’s Border Crossing Horror Movie

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Flicks: Mimesis (2011)

Sid Haig and director Doug Schulze enthusiastically explore the modern horror movie genre.

Manlings. They live and die - and have no control between these two absolute certainties. Mimesis (2011) explores the certainty found in horror movies that provides the illusion of control over life and death. Horror movie fans know their classic films, such as George Romero's cultural epiphany, Night Of The Living Dead (1968), better than they know themselves, their own government institutions or ancient religious texts! It's true.

Why? Because it seems more relevant. Simple. And what could be more relevant than a movie that is an homage to, not a re-make of, Night Of The Living Dead?

Today, it is very usual to see a film using the exact structural framework of a classic like Night Of The Living Dead especially at a time when re-makes like Evil Dead and the latter Night Of The Living Dead sequels both sputter due to lack of interest in a Hollywood version of a cult classic devoid of imagination.

Mimesis starts out like Wes Craven's Scream movies, at a horror movie con (!), and quickly becomes a self-aware, full-color version of Night Of The Living Dead. Director Doug Schulze, who also co-wrote and funded the film, filmed Mimesis in and around Detroit, Michigan, which any resident of the US will tell you is a true land of the dead. Mimesis is very much a product of Michigan. Insane Clown Posse, based in Michigan, is featured on the soundtrack and the movie was released by the recently resurrected Anchor Bay (Evil Dead, Prom Night) who were originally based in Michigan before being bought out by Starz.

In an interview with Shock Till You Drop, Schulze remained clear about the influences that he had including The Last Man on Earth by Richard Matheson, which is actually a vampire film, and the tradition of people isolated in cabins or houses (Cabin Fever, Evil Dead).

Schulze's actors reprise the roles of Duane Jones (Allen Maldonado) and Barbara (Jana Thompson) along with horror movie vet Mr. Sid Haig (Spider Baby, House Of 1,000 Corpses) playing a horror film director making some extremely significant statements about the genre and entertainment in genral. The actors are forced into a game as doomed pawns re-creating a classic horror film where everyone is meant to die. Mimesis 2 in currently in post-production with a third movie planned.

References:
IMDb, Mimesis (2011)
Shock Til You Drop, Director Talks Mimesis: Night of the Living Dead
Fangoria, "Mimesis" Night Of The Living Dead

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